Ghostlighting Is The New Dating Trend We're Already Tired Of

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As if dating in the digital age wasn't already complicated enough, there's a new trend on the scene that's leaving many of us scratching our heads. Ghostlighting, a term coined to describe the act of someone disappearing from your life after a few dates, only to reappear later with a flimsy excuse for their absence, is on the rise. It's yet another frustrating example of the lack of communication and honesty in modern dating, and it's something we're already tired of.

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What Is Ghostlighting?

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Ghostlighting is essentially a combination of ghosting and gaslighting. Ghosting, for those who may not be familiar, is when someone abruptly cuts off all communication with you, leaving you wondering what went wrong. Gaslighting, on the other hand, is a form of manipulation in which the gaslighter makes you doubt your own feelings and perceptions. When the two are combined, you're left feeling confused, hurt, and unsure of what to believe.

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The Rise of Ghostlighting

So why is ghostlighting becoming more prevalent in the world of online dating? Some experts believe that the convenience and anonymity of dating apps and websites make it easier for people to engage in this type of behavior. When you're just a face on a screen, it's easy to forget that there's a real person with real feelings on the other end of the conversation. Additionally, the "paradox of choice" that comes with having so many potential matches at your fingertips can lead to a lack of investment in any one person, making it easier to ghostlight without feeling guilty.

The Impact on Victims

The impact of ghostlighting on its victims can be significant. Not only does it leave you feeling hurt and confused, but it can also erode your sense of self-worth and trust in others. When someone repeatedly disappears and reappears in your life, it can make you question whether you're worthy of consistent love and attention. It can also lead to feelings of anxiety and insecurity, as you never know when the other shoe will drop and the person will vanish again.

How to Spot Ghostlighting

Spotting ghostlighting can be tricky, as the person engaging in this behavior is often skilled at manipulating the situation to make themselves look innocent. However, there are some red flags to watch out for. If someone frequently cancels plans at the last minute and then reappears with a vague excuse, that could be a sign of ghostlighting. Similarly, if they're quick to disappear when things start to get serious and then come back with a grand gesture to win you over, that's another warning sign.

How to Protect Yourself

If you suspect that you're being ghostlighted, it's important to take steps to protect yourself. First and foremost, trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is. Don't be afraid to set boundaries and communicate your needs clearly. If the person continues to disrespect those boundaries, it may be time to cut ties and move on. Remember that you deserve someone who respects and values you, and don't settle for anything less.

Moving Forward

While ghostlighting is certainly a frustrating and hurtful trend, it's important to remember that not everyone engages in this type of behavior. There are plenty of genuine, honest people out there who are looking for meaningful connections. By staying true to yourself, setting clear boundaries, and being open to communication, you can navigate the world of online dating with confidence and grace. And who knows? You may just find the real connection you've been searching for.